16 thoughts on “WINNING at Chivalry

  1. This is an oft-explored issue in the adult film world. From what I can gather, there’s no wrong way to give the woman a sperm smoothie. However, I would adhere to the sage advice given from great orator Soulja Boy:

    “Watch me crank dat Robocop…Watch me super soak that ho”

  2. *gets on to soapbox*
    .
    Jeebus on a Ritz…we have a WHOLE GENERATION of kids who’s first glimpse of sexuality was not their dad’s poorly hidden copy of Playboy, with pictorials of natural booblies and hirsute female groins, as the Creator intended (both the physical attributes and how aforementioned 12-year-olds first saw them)…No Indeed.
    .
    NOW the young sexual acolytes click a few links and IF they’re lucky they wind up at bigtitsandopenslits-dot-com…clearly though Junior here clicked on 15-dude-bukkakes-dot-com and that formed his idea of how people “do it”. ***I made those links up…but DO NOT click on them…ya never know….***

    I have a buddy, my age (45), who-regrettably-segued out of his divorce into a relationship with a girl less than half his age. She was insulted when he did not “unload” into her face the first time they “sealed the deal”, as it were.
    .
    NOBODY from my generation actually has coitus the way it’s been portrayed in porn, with the TRULY ridiculous “money shot” to the face and/or boobular area. No one in a caring relationship would do that…at least not twice, anyway.
    .
    But this generation has been trained, via internet porn, to think that’s the norm…a norm, which, sadly, was invented by sleazy 70′s porn directors desperate to convince their viewers than their “product” wasn’t cheesy simulated sex, aka present-day Cinemax Saturday Night Specials.
    .
    Kid, if you want to make a facial “special”, rub your sweetie’s face with avocado oil; then cuddle with her and do what comes NATURALLY. Jeez.
    .
    Now if you’ll all excuse me, I’m going to go pee in a horse.

Leave a Reply