14 thoughts on “The scientific method

  1. My mother-in-law would have loved this! She would roll her kids up really tight in the blankets, and then pin the roll to the mattress, using those huge laundry pins. She told me this was the most effective way of keeping them from getting out of bed to pee in the night. She gave me this little tip (and some laundry pins) when I brought my twins home from the hospital.

    Sometimes I’m surprised my husband didn’t end up butchering women in alleys!

  2. While this is a fake product, I’ve met some kids who I’d love to use this on. Not to keep them from masturbating but because they’re psycho brats and their parents won’t punish them. The worse one being a step-nephew who constantly threatens to kill people and even pulled a knife on my mom. And his mother thinks that this is perfectly normal.

    I swear that kid is going to grow up to be a serial killer.

  3. It’s a fake product, but a real Thing.

    When she was two, our daughter tripped and fell onto my husband’s barbell, puncturing her eyebrow on the end screw. We took her to the ER, where the doctor wrapped her in a “papoose” exactly like the one shown — to hold her still while he sewed up her eyebrow. Being “hugged” by this contraption mimicked swaddling, which is very soothing to babies. It worked: she stopped fighting after a minute or so, and 30 years later has almost no scar at all.

    She probably still masturbates, though.

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