19 thoughts on “Doesn’t quite add up

    • Has more to do with fewer and fewer men going to college because the public education system is failing them. Women still seek to marry men who do or can potentially earn more than them, on average (for example most women CEOs are marrieds to men who are CEOs, not mail room clerks). Of course feminists are noticably quiet on this topic, probably because it benefits women. Proving they’re not about equality, just about helping their side. Doesn’t make them unique, just annoying when they harp on equality, but only when things don’t go in their favor.

      • Oh jeez…the drivel.

        “Fewer and fewer men are going to college.” False. MORE AND MORE men are going to college. It’s just that MORE AND MORE AND MORE women are, too. Your slice of pie can be objectively larger while being relatively smaller if the pie gets bigger overall.

        “Women seek to marry men who do or can out-earn them.” Not objectively true. More and more people marry within their class/educational level than ever before. This probably has more to do with 2 incomes being necessary to maintain a household than an abstract desire by women to not be the breadwinner. I can’t afford to support someone, period. In order to maintain a middle-class lifestyle, best guess, a spouse would need to be capable of (and at least on track to) earn about 66% what I do. However, there is some logic that some women – those who want to breed – would require a spouse that earned more than that relatively because many, many employers don’t provide adequate maternity and child care leave. Without a strong second income in those cases, a household may find itself in trouble: case in point – my SIL earns 3x what my brother does. When she had to take unpaid FMLA owing to a difficult pregnancy, they faced extreme financial difficulty, even though my brother did what he could to earn extra income during that time. But, setting that aside for a second – how many men want to be primary homemakers? If you want women to be okay with the inverse of a 1950’s nuclear family, men need to be willing to be “Mr. Mom.” If I’m bringing home the bacon AND cooking it, I’m only doing it for my own-fucking-self. My brother cooks and cleans and does play dates more than my SIL. Would you?

        Finally, there’s this little thing nowadays where partners, you know, like to engage each other on their own level. If you’ve ever had a conversation with someone who didn’t have quite the same education as you, you’ll understand this. It can be downright painful to apply logic 101 in a conversation with someone who never took it. Pretty much so everyone who is *capable* of going to college, and even some people who aren’t, goes to college these days. There are some people who are really brilliant and incapable of being stimulated by college who do very well without it, but they’re both rare gems and tend to be otherwise successful, putting them in the company of college-educated people on a socioeconomic level. And there are, of course, people who would be fully capable of both going to and doing well in college who run into financial barriers to doing so. Many of these such people attend SOME college or EVENTUALLY earn their degree, making them less distant on the ladder from people who sailed right through. But most people who don’t *care* to go to college or are not *qualified* to do so just don’t have a lot in common with people who earn their degree. There are people I count as friends who work in the trades or do other things that don’t require college, and while I get along fine with them, I can’t spend 5 hours talking with them and find myself engaged the whole time.

        Bottom line, correlation does not equal causation, and if the women you know are gold-diggin’ rather than taking a basic interest in their family’s financial stability or looking for an intellectual equal, I suggest you get new friends.

        • Oh, and both my brother and SIL have college degrees. My SIL picked a demanding but financially rewarding field. My brother picked a fulfilling but under-paid field which alternatively provides him with substantial free or flexible time. So, while there’s a large pay discrepancy between them, they are intellectual equals. I have more degrees than the two of them put together, and while I have to explain or avoid terms of art of my field, they are both capable of understanding them and engaging in meaningful conversation on such intellectual topics, and have the intellectual curiosity to do so. A case study in compatibility over everything else.

        • Wow. Who said gold digging? I was merely pointing out that study after study has shown that women, regardless of educational level, “marry up” income-wise. You might not like that fact, but it is still a statistical fact.

          The interesting thing is the “Mr. Mom” concept. You ask how many men are willing to be the stay-at-home parent. I’d ask how many women would be interested in that relationship too. I suspect the numbers are going to be low on both ends, which means that as fewer and fewer percentage of men go to or complete college, the dating pool of “acceptable” partners for educated women will go down. Should be interesting to see how that will affect both genders when it comes to dating expectations.

          And your comment about more men in college than ever belies the reality. While the raw numbers may be up, as a percentage men are dropping below 50% and falling. Seeing as the number of men vs. women in society usually holds at 48/52 (or thereabouts), it would stand to reason that if, year after year, 60% or more of all issued degrees went to women, then eventually the number of educated men would fall below the number of educated women. And it is a fact that as more studies are being done, the findings are that the current structure of the education system benefits women disproportionately and leaves many young boys behind as “problems”, mostly because they don’t learn the same way as girls do. But we’re not allowed to acknowledge differences in the sexes, so we plow forward with a single education model.

          • Sigh…okay, let’s put some numbers to it. I agree that the gender balance remains pretty constant, but female babies survive birth and early childhood *slightly* better than males owing to that extra X. Let’s say we have 100 people. Previously, 18% of them, or 18 people, attained a college degree. 70% of degree earners were men, and 30% women, so about 13 men earned degrees and 5 women did. Years go by and we find ourselves with 33% of people earning degrees, 40% of them men and 60% of them women (these are today’s numbers). First, we’ve gone from 18 to 33 people earning degrees. SECOND AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, 1 men earn degrees and 17 women do. The gain for women is BETTER, BUT MEN STILL GAIN! Honestly, given the slight discrepancy in survival rates between male and female children, THIS IS TRUE EQUALITY. Men and women earn degrees at the same rate they are represented in the population. More importantly, both sexes have a larger “piece” objectively, even though the *relative* ratio has changed.

            As for homemaking work, YOU were the one who brought up marrying down. If I paid serious coin for an education that earns me a robust living (I did), then I feel I deserve one of two things: an equal partner who will PAY for those things to be done right along with me or someone who may earn less or nothing but picks up the slack at home (the latter is not really much of an option for *me*, but everyone’s situation is different and I know couples who get by on 1 or 1.25 incomes). It matters not whether I would be *happy* being a housewife, because I offer financial support to the household. I can very well keep going to work and keep earning the bucks and keep paying someone to clean the toilet in my place. BUT, if you can’t offer that financial support, then you need to be willing to put down the video game controller and wash a fucking load of laundry. I’d prefer an equal-ish partner. They don’t have to match me dollar-for-dollar, but, as I said, they’d probably need to earn 2/3 what I do at some point soon to maintain the life I live for 2.

          • Why does my computer do this to me? I was trying to edit for today’s numbers. Basically, the same number of men earn degrees today as in ~1980, but more women do, given a fixed population (or a sample). I graduated from college just long enough ago that the numbers reflected gender balance (48 male/52 female).

            However, as I was going to say, I’d exercise some caution in pulling that out to earning potential. The lion’s share of degrees in higher-earning technical fields still go to men. I am an economist. In college just a few short years ago, I was one of *5* women in that declared major, out of about 70 declared econ majors. I had a professor tell me I was really smart and did excellent work, but should dye my naturally blonde hair darker and avoid wearing ANY makeup to appear “more serious.” WTELF IS THAT? If you’ve never owned a vagina and tried to get ahead, you have NO idea. I CAN’T WAIT until I’m beyond my fertile years, because maybe (MAYBE) then potential employers will stop (ILLEGALLY) asking me how much time I plan to take off for child birth and care.

          • And, finally for now, earning potential does mean something. If you have an MA because you’re a high school teacher and that’s required, many people in the trades will make as much or more than you. Same goes for people with BAs or MAs in things like social work, HR, etc., and AAs in just about anything. Women earn these low-pay degrees in droves. If, as I mentioned, you’re looking at your family’s bottom line and wondering what would happen if you lost your job or had to take 3 months off unpaid because you developed preeclampsia, having a partner who makes almost as much as you will be a big relief, even if that spouse fixes people’s furnaces rather than something more academic.

    • Exactly. I mean, women have always made these flimsy excuses like that employers have historically been more willing to give men the available full-time, better paying jobs because they’re the ones supporting families as heads of household, or that women in our society are expected to bear a greater burden of childcare responsibilities than men.

      But because that can’t possibly be true, the obvious truth has to be that women are just innately less inclined to want to work as many hours as men. It’s our vaginas, you see. When they’re not propelling our spawn out from between our legs, they’re just sitting in there quietly sucking the energy right out of us.

      • Ain’t that the truth. My sister had a hysterectomy, and without all that energy sucking female plumbing she works over 40 hrs a week, whereas my parts all, sadly, remain, thus I only get, at best, 28 hrs a week.

        It just surprises me how her, and my bosses know about our bajingo statuses, and schedule, and pay us accordingly, since we’ve never shared that info with them.

    • Literally as soon as you stop asking for it. The less attention you pay to skimpily clad women, the more skimpily clad women there will be.

      Kind of like a catch-22 for your dick, I suppose…

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