33 thoughts on “THE CHEAT IS GROUNDED

  1. 3 weeks ago my Husband of 26 yrs announced he was running from Ohio, back to Corning, California (“The Olive Capital of the World”)to be with his ex-high school sweetheart(who left her husband of as many yrs for him)….they re-connected on Facebook. I know…how sweet!

    The lovebirds will be living here….

    I LOVE the brave use of Dollar Tree carts and toilet paper as landscaping material. Mulch? So 1980′s.

    Yeah….YOLO!

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      • Well, MarchHare, if it makes you feel any better – my wife of 20 years did the same thing. Went to her class reunion in California, insisting that I stay back home with our four kids ages 17 thru 4. She reconnected with her “soul mate” (counting me, that would be soulmate # 7; she’s lucky in that regard) and one year later her and the kids are 2,000 miles away with Prince Charming, who dissolved his marriage of 12 years for her breasts. Her admittedly exquisite breast.

        Then there was trouble in paradise. She found naughty-grams to other women on his laptop he left during a frequent out of town trip (damn, dude, it’s called a password…duh)

        What did I do? I wrote him a long passionate letter, and her as well; an astounding essay of why they should overcome and move forward together as one.

        Because I’m nice?

        No. Because I am an EVIL bastard.

        Sit back, wait 5~7 years. The inevitable happens.

        In the meantime I have guilt. He IS a nice dude; he’s great to my kids, we have much in common (besides having pounded the same honeypot), we play Xbox when I go visit the kids (I stay with them…) and we’re broheims. I do feel bad.

        But he asked for it. I mean, I hope it works out for them, truly…but history tells us otherwise.

        So, basically, what ConceptOfCow and Haineux said.

        Have patience, GrassHopper. Karma is a beeyotch.

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          • She was my ex’s first blowjob.

            Musta been some blowjob.

            Quit a good job at the VA, and hauling his considerable bulk to Corning (Magical, lionized,beacon of the north) Corning! Where it’s always 1976, he’s hanging with the cool kids, and he’s getting that mental health changing suction!

            Moving to Yolo St.

            Luckily our 2 sons are grown.

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          • I’m down with anything & D
            .
            Yes, original with foreword by Gary Gygax.
            .
            And yes I own a 100-sided die. Because two 10-sided die aren’t random enough.

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          • Wow. Dude, stay awesome.
            Damn, Gygax has already left the Prime. And Arneson. I’ll go fetch some good wine or maybe liquor if you’ll excuse me for a moment…

            (Also, only five levels of depth for comments? Really?)

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          • Aaanyway. I’ve been meaning to ask someone knowledgeable about this module I’ve… seen a few times. But since I normally avoid any kind of discussions on the ‘net…

            So, the name’s “Demons of Demogorgon”, for 1st Ed. As I understand it, this module is not by WoTC. So, who wrote the thing? I’ve found no mention of it’s author, ever.
            It’s a fun module, quite so. In the same way Tomb of Ho… erm, I mean Tomb of Acererak is.

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        • I think my favorite is when people act shocked, shocked that the person who cheated on someone else to be with them then cheats again. Talk about an ego, to think that you’ll be the one to fix their wandering eye.

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        • “Her admittedly exquisite breast.”

          “(besides having pounded the same honeypot)”

          “But when it was good it was SO good. She’s like a 5′-1″ Marilyn Monroe clone.”

          “I should start dating 6′s and 7′s. 9′s are too damn neurotic. Funny, once mentally broken girls get above an “8″ in looks they go from being considered by guys as oboxious/crazy/bitchy to complex/fascinating/mysterious.”

          ^This. Right here – that’s your problem.

          Maybe if you get to actually be friends with a woman, it might help you with you “bitches be crazy and running off with other men” issue. Just a thought?

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          • Wow. It’s like you KNOW me, from just a few sarcarstic lines I typed on the internet. O tell me more, wizened oracle.

            We were friends, and if you read the other stuff I wrote, we still are best friends. But you can’t clap with one hand. She is bi-polar and in denial. That train’s always gonna crash. And I stuck with her through some of the worst shit a man can get put through, and I still support her. It’s just some other guy’s turn to suffer through her endless self-made crises.

            The only thing I typed wrong is “breast” should have been plural.

            And I’m an ass man, for the record.

            Frog.

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          • And oversharing be damned, it feels good to finally talk about it. Albeit anonymously. To internet folk, most of whom presumably resemble this dude.

            Whereas I’m more like this bad ass:

            Ladies.

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          • Well, no. I don’t know you and don’t claim to – that wasn’t my point. it was just that when you referred to your wife it was all referring to her separate and distinct body parts instead of a whole person (except for the part where you said women got away with being crazy and neurotic if they’re a “9″. I just found it a little, I don’t know, off?

            I just thought that you may have been unaware of how it came across but if you genuinely can’t see how it might be disagreeable, then I’m really sorry I offended you. I’ve found over 90% of your posts clever and funny so it was meant as a friendly nudge rather than an outright attack.

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  2. Well I guess she figured since she could never get the stains of forbidden love out of the sheets she might as well paint a welcome home message on them.

    Hell Hath NO fury…better keep on drivin’, buddy, before you join the John Wayne Bobbit club.

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  3. I’m so impressed by the lettering on the sheet…

    And to MarchcHare and DarkSock, sounds like you both got a “get out of jail free” card.

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    • she’s welcome to him. this is a move so stupid they deserve to discover what has changed them both after 26 yrs together.

      I can tell you she’s getting a walking landmine of neuroses she’ll be stepping on for 9 mos…tops, before she decides she’s done.

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    • I married her twice. Repeat offender.
      .
      But when it was good it was SO good. She’s like a 5′-1″ Marilyn Monroe clone.
      .
      I should start dating 6′s and 7′s. 9′s are too damn neurotic. Funny, once mentally broken girls get above an “8″ in looks they go from being considered by guys as oboxious/crazy/bitchy to complex/fascinating/mysterious.
      .
      All men are idiots. I blame my unit. If I’d sawed off my tweeter when I was 12 I’d be a multimillionaire right now.

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