I’m at the store today, when I see what looks like a new flavor of Cesar dog food.
So I look a little closer, and I see that this is more than a new flavor. It’s a whole new concept.
Breakfast. For dogs.
You heard me.
Now your dog can start the day with a cheddar cheese “souffle.” Or perhaps a bacon “scramble.” Or maybe just “steak and eggs.” You know, the kind of foods your dog really wants for breakfast!
God help us all.
Don’t get me wrong. I love my dogs. I really do. But I’ve been feeding them dinner for breakfast for years, and I’ve never seen them back away from the dish in disgust. And to the best of my recollection, they’ve never begged for melon.
So do dogs really need breakfast? Do they find some dishes too heavy in the morning? Would they prefer fewer carbs so they don’t get sluggish during the workday? Has dog productivity been suffering all these years and we didn’t know it?
I don’t think so. I don’t think my dogs will get more done in a day if they start with egg whites and coffee. And I don’t think they know the difference between beef and a turd, much less breakfast and dinner.
Let’s just get some perspective, here. We’re talking about animals who eat their own vomit, and would happily do so twice a day if you put in in a dish. The more repulsive the smell, the more interested they are. They roll on dead birds, they eat the crotch out of dirty underwear, they lick your filthy feet until their eyes roll back into their heads. If Kal Kan ever came up with a tampon and ass flavored kibble, they wouldn’t be able to keep in in stock.
So, no, my dogs don’t need a special food for breakfast.
I bought 12 packs.