“Alright guys, this is the last time we are going over this… Stop doing drive-bys at the starbucks. “Too much foam” is not a valid reason. We’re gonna get banned.”
“I’m thinking of getting Either Calvin and Hobbes, or Woody Woodpecker with the cigar in his mouth. What do you think?”
“Oh, so it’s a tattoo portrait of your mother. Well she certainly looks like a classy lady. I’m sure she’s very proud.”
“Wait…aren’t you that dude from ‘Under Siege’?”
“Nah, vato, that ain’t him. He ain’t got no ponytail.”
I love it when guys have facial tattoos. That way I don’t have to go through the entire dating process to find out they consistently make very poor life decisions.
“Actually I’m a black dude; I had a white guy tattoo’d across my whole face. NOW who’s hardest, bitches???”
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